I struggle with prayer. As a Christian, I should pray. I should want to pray, to open the communication channel with my Creator, to bring the petitions of others before Him. My struggle isn’t with the intellection portion of prayer at all, but rather putting it into practice.
Sure I’ll offer up a prayer when someone puts a request on twitter. I occasionally even use a prayer request app on my phone to keep track. I’m even reading a book about putting away books and just sitting alone with God. How’s that for irony?
I’ve tried praying in bed (I fall asleep). I’ve tried praying while running (I see a squirrel and get distracted). I’ve tried praying while driving down the road (then I get stuck behind a slow moving tourist and lose my religion).
Seeking God is a latch-ditch effort.
I’ve grown weary.
He has told you what is good
and what it is the Lord requires of you:
to act justly,
to love faithfulness,
and to walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:8 HCSB
My friend Marla started another read along a couple of weeks ago, discussing the book(let) Deeping the Soul for Justice by Bethany Hoang. I’m weary in life, and didn’t really want to take on one more thing on my plate. The book promised to be a quick read, weighing in at just 48 pages. The subject matter, however, is a weighty one. The whole point of the book (as I understand) is to open our eyes to injustice surrounding us and to take action.
I joke that Marla prayer-pressured me to join up. I enjoy reading, blogging, and making new friends. Only God knew how badly I needed this. The first chapter doesn’t deal with justice at all, but rather starts at the beginning. Funny how I easily skip this step.
We cannot begin to change the world in Jesus’ name without consulting Him first. We need His strength. His direction. Anything less with result in a worn and weary spirit.
So today, I will follow the advice in the book on solitude. I will follow the advice of the book about justice. I will start this day – the day that will end with me attending my 2nd funeral in a matter of 6 days – seeking God.
*deep breath in*
Lord Jesus Christ
*deep breath out*
Have mercy on me