Back in the olden days, I blogged about my family finances. Without providing detailed figures, I shared about our quest to become debt free. These days, our goals have changed a bit and we’re working to find what our differences mean for our financial future.
Before I met my darling, I had 2 major financial goals: to become debt free and accumulate a million dollar net worth by my 40th birthday. These days, pushing my 34th birthday, the feeling behind the goals are still present but the specifics have changed a bit.
The core motivation behind both of these goals is security. Each represent, in their own way, power and control. A lack of fear when it comes to money seems to be the path to freedom.
Are these feelings sinful? That’s something I’ve wrestled with a bit. Is my drive for these things a lack of trust in God to provide for me? Is it an assumption that I’ll be around indefinitely and need the funds? Both of those are very dangerous view points.
Almost 6 years ago, I became the wife of a realtor. I didn’t realize real estate was less a profession and more a way of life. Success transactions for others has led to success for ourselves, buying and selling property on a very small scale.
If I were comfortable taking on investment debt, my husband would be thrilled to find that success on a larger scale. My gut (or is it my Dave Ramsey indoctrination?) says not just no, but hell no. There is too much risk. However when I break it down into a trust issue, I waiver.
Do I trust my husband to be good at his job? To be smart when it comes to investments, returns, and calculated risks? Yes, he has proven this over and over.
Do I trust God to care for me as He does the lilies of the field? Yes. He has proven Himself over and over. Not just in my life, but also in the lives of family and friends.
These choices come with pressure. What if he’s wrong? What if being broke is His best will for us? What if this really isn’t a trust/sin issue, but rather the Holy Spirit trying to protect me from a harmful path?
I have no answers, just lots of uncertainty. Please feel free to share thoughts, struggles, or ideas. Otherwise, I’d just appreciate prayers.