The past few weeks I’ve desired, however unsuccessfully, to do a bit of free writing in blog form. Maybe “haven’t been able” is a bit dramatic. I’ve considered writing, but something (life, travels, laziness) has gotten into my way. Distracting me and keeping me from writing.

Also, I’m in a weird transitional season which has effected my mood. My moods dictate my writing. I strive to be genuine, heart-felt, and funny. If I can’t be all of those things, all the time, I tend to shy away from sharing my heart.

This transition involves God using me as He has seen fit to gift me, in service of the Church (people of God, not a building) and for His glory. Call it demonic forces, bumps in the road, or just life happening, but I’ve struggled emotionally to feel worthy of my calling.

Duh, none of us are. Plenty of Bible examples to support that.


The trifecta of fear, doubt, and loneliness have crept into my brain, working against me. I’m working to take each thought captive and replace it with a truth from the scripture, but it is work.

My creative energy (what little I feel I have) is being zapped and isn’t there when I want to put together that “perfect” blog. Instead, if you – my readers, my tribe – will forgive me, I want to start putting it out there. Not perfect, but real and honest.

Starting today.

on the beam (aka future posts):
  • sharing what “on the beam” means, from where i borrowed the term, and an exciting new opportunity in my social media world. 
  • my new church ministry opportunities
  • a new favorite fictional book series
  • future vacation plans 
  • marathon weekend thoughts + race report