I purchased 2 stickers for my car at the Disney Marathon expo 4 years ago. Of course one was the obligatory 26.2 decal, proclaiming to the world that I am better than them I run crazy distances for the fun of it.

The second, however, explains how I truly feel about all this running and fitness stuff to which I devote so much time and effort.
 
Starring at this quote prompts a couple of questions.

  1. Why are the first letters of “courage” and “start” capitalized?
  2. Do I really have the courage? What prompts what I do? 

My training buddy and I decided upon a sprint triathlon for the summer. While I love running, doing it in the hot and humid summer months are miserable. 

With our eye on a tri, we decided that cross-training through the summer would be the perfect fit. Regular swimming and biking would keep our cardio up, while providing us an alternative to the head index versus treadmill debate we always have in the summer. With only 2ish days of running, and short distances at that, we wouldn’t lose run fitness either.

 Neither of us are confident swimmers, and open water swim would require some work and dedication on our part. She did a bit of research and contacted the director of a local master swim group. For the past 2 weeks, she’s attended the sessions. By her assessment, they are challenging but she can already see improvements to her swimming.

BUT

I don’t think I have the courage to try it out. I have a whole list of reasons I’m not doing it. The reality is, if I wanted to, I would make a way. But I don’t wanna.

Heck, its even taken me 2 days to put the words together for this blog. 

As the gambler says, you gotta know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em. Only I don’t know which this is. Do I let myself off the hook? Accept that I can’t be good at everything. Or do I push through, and force myself to face this anxiety?

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