I haven’t written much lately. Not on the blog, or even for myself. Typically I find writing to be my outlet, the way I get my thoughts from my head.

Instead of trying to craft a clever post, I want to share with you today a glimpse of my journal:

Seeking purpose – does this make me selfish? I want my life to mean something To have a purpose. Right now I’m in no man’s land.

Some changes in my spiritual landscape (for the better) have left me wondering how I am supposed to minister, to share God’s love with others. To use the gifts He’s given me for His glory and for the sake of His kingdom.

Why do I pause when considering spiritual gifts? Scripture assures that all believers have been blessed through the Holy Spirit, equipping us to do reach those around us. Yet when I consider mine, I wonder if it’s sinful boasting on my part to assume I could do something well.

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One of my gifts is teaching. My current church situation doesn’t provide an opportunity to use it in a traditional means. Is God limited by tradition? Of course not!

I hesitate to assume writing is a gift from Him. Perhaps this blog is a tool He would like to use?

Pride is a sin I struggle with. Comparison fills my life and my heart with doubt. My Facebook page doesn’t even have 100 likes. Surely this means I have nothing worth sharing.

Instead, I’m starting to have a new perspective. Better to be the sidewalk prophet, ignored by those who pass by than to be a lukewarm believer who is silent about her faith.

Today I’m choosing to lay aside the blogger musts, those “10 easy ways to grow your blog” type instructions. In the words of Andrea – a sister in Christ and fellow blogger #JesusIsMyPlatform.

With each post, I commit to praying the Creator of the Universe will work to bring my word to those who need them. If that’s a grand total of me, I will have spent time in prayer, considering Christ. That can’t be time wasted.

You see, we don’t go around preaching about ourselves. We preach that Jesus Christ is Lord, and we ourselves are your servants for Jesus’ sake.
2 Corinthians 4:5

I’ll probably never have a blog that goes viral or has myself described as a “popular blogger” on the back of a book jacket. But maybe, just maybe, in this upside-down, last-first economy of Abba, I’ll have a spot on a heavenly top 10 list.

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