I’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching these past few months. Who am I? What is my purpose in life? What is the mission to which Abba has called me?

This indecision is evidenced in my closet. I’ve struggled to find my personal style for almost 15 years. Having never truly felt like an adult, I played dress up in my grown-up closet. I purchase clothing which spoke to who I thought I should be.

transforming-into-who-i-really-am

Mimicking those around me, I choose pieces I thought others would approve of. A real-life Pinterest board, I saw what other people were wearing and attempted to recreate the looks in the own closet. Only in doing so, I didn’t play to my own strengths and personality.

Without going into too much boring detail, life has happened over the past couple of years. Things I believed to be true have revealed themselves otherwise. Now I’m wondering if I know deep down who I truly am.

If only I could master my closet, or the scale, or my 5K time, I’d finally feel at home in my own skin. Of course, theologically speaking, I know that will never happen. Its not supposed to happen. This restlessness is supposed to point me back to God and his kingdom. As we are reminded in Philippians 3:20-21:

20 But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21 who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.

I hesitate to share about the “weight” loss group I recently joined, because I don’t want to be one of those girls who is always trying something new and failing. However, in this case weight is in quotations because the focus of the group not dropping L-Bs.

The team at Revelation Wellness focuses on wholeness in Christ. For some, that means changing compulsive eating habits (which could lead to weight loss). Others might focus on strengthening their bodies for kingdom service work.

This is only week one, but I need to be much in prayer about being open to wherever God may take me during this Weigh Less to Feed More. One thing’s for sure, nothing helps my mental slumps than taking the focus off myself and directing it to helping other people. I look forward to what Abba has in store for me these next 8 weeks!

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