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Perfectionist.

Enneagram Type 1.

I set high standards both for myself an those around me. Often these expectations are, at best lofty and at worst unattainable. I’m forced to step back and question the idea that something isn’t “good enough.”

Good enough for whom? By what standard of measure?

I’ve written a bit about how I (with Jon Acuff’s help) decided what counted when tracking how many books I’ve read in the year. If I’m the one counting, I get to decide.

This week I made a commitment to myself to get back into writing more frequently. I needed a break following the writing project I did last year, but its time to get back on the horse (or whatever trite metaphor you’d like to use there.)

Five Minute Friday seemed to be the perfect answer. Free writing with no pressure. Below is their description of the link-up:

Write for five minutes on the word of the week. This is meant to be a free write, which means: no editing, no over-thinking, no worrying about perfect grammar or punctuation. Just write.

Only my perfectionist brain doesn’t seem to understand what “no worrying” means. In my writing, my fear of publishing something bad is so great it often cause paralysis. Procrastination more than writer’s block.

Admittedly, I didn’t follow the strictest rules for the FMF link up. Rather than just 5 minutes of writing whatever is in my head, I set a timer, then paused it as I went back to clean up a section. Or to delete entire parts.

Wiping the slate…er…Google doc clean, I reset the timer and started again.

Measuring up for a perfectionist is difficult work. Especially when my inner critic decides to redefine someone else’s standards.