Always tracking behaviors and learning new ideas, I sometimes grow tired of being able to perceive what needs to change in my life. However, unless we are aware of our habits, we have no hope of steering them in the direction we hope to go.
When I first read about the Enneagram, I had no clue that some people struggle to determine their type for months or even years. When I read about Type 1: The Perfectionist/Reformer, I immediately discovered my type. I’ve fought perfectionism my whole life, knowing this weakness prevents me from being the person I ought to be.
The Enneagram has taught me, however, that my greatest weakness is also my biggest strength. This lens of viewing the world helps me consistently grow through life.
I recently replaced my Garmin from a decade ago with an updated smartwatch. The device tracks my steps, flights of stairs, and even my heart rate on dedicated workouts. The watch gives me gentle nudges when I’m not being as active as I ought to be. It also helps perceived effort in comparison with my heart rate on any given training activity (especially helpful on humid summer days when my pace isn’t a good indicator of how hard I’m working.)
I also collect data in my Bullet Journal. Part planner, part daily diary, part habit tracker, my journal helps me make decisions with an awareness of what is getting my time and attention. Is my nutrition lacking, or does it just seem that way? Have I been lazy, or am I “suiting up” for my workouts more than I realize?
What starts as helpful life planning can go sideways if I get too focused on being productive. Thankfully there is good news for when my natural tendencies of tracking and analysis cause me to go overboard and become more of a weakness than a helpful too.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.2 Corinthians 12:9-10
This verse brings me comfort because I’m all too aware of my shortcomings. Turning them over to Him, and allowing Him to use my weakness for His glory while not easy, seems like a pretty good trade on my end of things.